Valentine’s letter (rewritten)

I don’t know if you will get this, and based on the fact that those bastards intercepted every single one I sent you, you probably wont. I just need to tell you that I love you as much as I did when you left, and as much as I always have.  You must’ve been confused about how none of my letters came through, and you might have a massive grudge against me for that, yet you need o know that it wasn’t my fault. I tried my best to keep in touch with you, yet if you have felt abandoned by your family, just remember that i’m still here for you, and I always will be.

Valentine X

King Lear essay (Rewritten)

King Lear is a very old play script written by the ”Bard of Avon”, William Shakespeare. The play goes into the tragedy genre, which was very popular at the time the play was written, especially with Shakespeare. This is an essay about one of the most tense scenes in King Lear, the confrontation about who loves the ageing main character the most, Gonreil, Regan or Cordelia?

The first one to speak was Gonriel. She obviously was desperate to own the largest piece of land, and was prepared to lie continuously until she got it.She uses quotes like ”Sir, I love you more than words can wield the matter”. This a quote that is exaggerated greatly, and is obviously not what she would say if the prize of the land wasn’t there. She uses techniques such as a triplet, which makes the reader think that she was preparing this, and made up all of this stuff specially for this occasion, presuming that she is a very false and manipulative person. The reader is automatically given the impression that Gonreil is not speaking truthfully, and also, if King Lear does choose Gonriel to have the largest piece of land, it gives the impression that the ageing man is walking straight into a trap.

The next person to speak was Regan, who gave a totally different approach to Gonreil. She decided to, instead of making herself look like she loves him, criticizing the other’s speeches. ”Only she comes too short” was a quote used by Regan against the other sister, trying to turn King Lear to her, instead of Gonriel. I think she is trying to respond in a way that King Lear would think of it as brilliant. The reader’s reaction is that she is very mean and would put down others for her own glory.

The last person to speak was Cordelia. She decided to use a totally different approach, and decided to tell the (seeming so) truth. She did this by saying ”Nothing my lord” in response to the question. I think that she tried to use the technique that you tell the truth and it comes across as loving, yet I think King Lear found it weird. The reaction from the reader was a decision on who doth loved King Lear the most…


Transport Pressure: A King Lear story

It was a Friday morning, an inset day in Theo’s case.This was his first chance to have a day out with the popular group. They were intending to go bowling then Nando’s, yet instead wanted to cruise around London using the TfL…

“Today’s gonna be sick innit!” said Joey excitedly. Joey was Theo’s best friend, and they were invited to go on a day out with Chad and his squad, the most popular group in his school’s Year 7. To be part of it automatically makes you popular and was called the essential Secondary School survival tool. Theo and Joey said yes to go as soon as they got the text. “Yeah, I guess.” Theo answered. Theo’s older brother, Tom, said that Chad was the younger brother of Bobby, the biggest troublemaker in Year 11, smoking shisha in the playground, selling ridiculously priced Kool – Aid to lower schoolers and getting in a fight nearly every day. Because of this, Theo stayed cautious, but couldn’t pass up the opportunity to hang out with him.

Even though Theo lived in Mayfair, most of his friends, including Joey, lived in South London, usually either Peckham or Brixton. Chad lived in Stockwell, so they met at that station. They were scheduled to get on the train at 11am, yet, like always, Chad was half an hour late. Chad and his mates were running and instructed Theo to get on the train hastily. He later explained that none of his squad brought Oysters and were on the run from security as they jumped the turnstiles. “We’re gonna go to Victoria apwhere we’ll meet my bro, then we gonna have a surprise at Blackfriars station.” Chad’s squad started smirking, even though Theo and Joey had no idea what they were talking about. Afterwards, at Victoria, they met Bobby. He was basically a 6ft upgrade on Chad, swapping a Nike pouch to a Armani pouch, and everything he wore was worth over £100. Theo went off to text his parents that he was okay, and had safely arrived at Victoria station, yet had absolutely no idea about what he was going to be doing there. While Theo was away, Bobby introduced the master plan without Theo. He had no idea on what was in stock for him.

Chad and Bobby’s dad was a criminal who liked mass destruction. He tried to hijack the train at Blackfriars station, but got caught and was put in prison for 6 years after a long trial last year. They wanted to finish exactly what he had started. There was a confusion on who would do it, and without Theo knowing, the the last person on the District line train to Blackfriars station would have to un clip the connectors going between the two train cars…

Theo got back just in time, yet unluckily for him, was on the train last! They followed Bobby’s orders and reached the last cart of the train before the drivers section. Another District line train was following, so they had to pull this off correctly. They were about to get to Blackfiars station, and they told Theo the deal. They were about to do it and pushed Theo to the front of the train. He stopped, and everyone, including Joey, was shouting “Do it!” behind him. Then he said no. “WHAT DO YOU MEAN NO?!” shouted Bobby. ” I would rather be bullied than kill all of these people” Theo replied. He dashed past everyone and jumped off the train onto the platform knowing he did the right thing.

The End.

The Globe

The Globe Theatre was a theatre in London associated with William Shakespeare. It was built in 1599 by Shakespeare’s playing company, the Lord Chamberlain’s Men, on land owned by Thomas Brend and inherited by his son, Nicholas Brend and grandson Sir Matthew Brend, and was destroyed by fire on 29 June 1613. A second Globe Theatre was built on the same site by June 1614 and closed in 1642. A modern reconstruction of the Globe, named “Shakespeare’s Globe”, opened in 1997 approximately 750 feet (230m) from the site of the original theatre. From 1909, the current Gielgud Theatre was called “Globe Theatre”, until it was renamed (in honour of John Gielgud) in 1994.

From an examination,

Shakespeare Biography

William Shakespeare was an English poet, playwright and actor, widely regarded as the best writer in the English language. Because of his fantastic work, he is known as the poet of England and ”Bard of Avon”. In his lifetime, he wrote 38 plays, 154 sonnets and 2 long poems. His productions have been translated into all major languages and are enjoyed all over the world.

Shakespeare was born and raised in Stratford upon Avon, in Warwickshire. When he was 18, he married Anne Hathaway, who he had three children with: Susanna. and twins Hamnet and Judith. Between 1585 and 1592, he started a successful career in London as an actor, writer and became a co-owner of theatre production company, Lord Chamberlains’s men, later known as the King’s men. It was recorded that he retired back to Stratford, where he was born and raised, and died three years later.

Shakespeare produced most of his known work between 1589 and 1613. His early plays were primarily comedies and histories, and these are regarded as some of the best work ever produced in these genres. He then wrote mainly tragedies until about 1608, including Hamlet, Othello, King Lear, and Macbeth, considered some of the finest works in the English language. In his last phase, he wrote tragicomedies, also known as romances, and collaborated with other playwrights.

After his death, his plays are still incredibly popular and celebrated all over the world.



Grandpa Lear and the three apartments


Lets get straight into things. Pass that map of the London boroughs. You must have been told by your mother and father that I have three apartments in this city yet, because of my old age, I am leaving my three apartments to you so I can live on The Isle of Wight. However, they are in different places. One in Mayfair, one in Islington and one in Peckham. Gonreil, Regan and Cordelia, married to Mr Ratmundi, Mr Jones and Mr Sykes respectively, will have to prove yourself to me to get my precious possessions. In order to find the choice order, you will have to answer a very simple question. Who loves me the most? Gonreil, Speak first.


Grandpa, I love you more than any pleasure. Being with you is the biggest joy I have everyday, you are my heart and soul. You are so handsome, I’m surprised you got a divorce with Nan, she was so stupid to get a restraining order. You have such amazing interests, Radio 4 should just invite you on every day. Your wisdom has inspired millions and your badminton tactics are off the charts. I love you more that chocolate biscuits, and I really really like chocolate biscuits.


[Audience]  What will you do Cordelia?

I’m just going to be honest.


That was a fantastic reading Gonreil. Now Regan, I proud of you for getting a fantastic job as a Tesco Salesperson, so I want you to know that I’ll be proud of you no matter what happens, and you should be able to afford a lovely bedsit soon. So, Regan, married to Mr Jones, speak.


I love my sister and all, and she loves you, yet I love you way more the she does. What she said is absolute rubbish and she has no idea what I have in stock for you. Generally, I’m an enemy to everything that isn’t you, your warm embrace and your amazing toothless smile. I hope you understand what I am saying, and you surely aren’t foolish enough to accept her dishonest lies. If you give her this apartment, you will never see her again. She will tint her windows and never send you a lousy, badly written letter. I doubt she will go to your gracious funeral and, in fact, I don’t think she will ever find out that you have died! If you give me the best apartment in Mayfair, I guarantee that I will be the best granddaughter ever. I will visit you every quarter, make you some delicious Tesco Finest breakfast on your birthday, and, more importantly, I will love you more than all of my sisters for ever and ever.


Thank you so much Regan, so touching. Next, which will settle everything once and for all, Cordelia. Do you, married to Mr Sykes, believe that you are even more loving than both of your sisters? Speak.




What the hell?! Nothing?! Are you serious?


Yes Grandpa.


Nothing will come of nothing; speak again.


Even though I will probably get the Peckham bedsit, I can not lie to you. I love you for yourself, I wouldn’t go and say a load of rubbish and deceive you just to get a simple apartment. It may set me up for life and give me something to help if I fail as a Biologist, yet I would rather have nothing than be known as a liar.


Oh Cordelia. If you change what you said, it might help you get a better apartment than what you are getting apartment wise, which isn’t so good right now.


My love doesn’t come from my mouth, it comes from actions, which you should surely notice.


I knew you never loved me Cordelia. You spent too much of your teenage years studying to your stupid PhD, and never had time for me. Visiting me every so often isn’t good enough compared to your sisters. Gonriel spent every day recovering from a motorcycle accident, and Regan gave me her dying dog for her birthday. Cordelia, you simply don’t love me enough. This competition has closed!



King Lear Essay

Shakespeare has created a ton of masterpieces. King Lear is one of them. The story bases it self on honesty, and how far you are willing to go to get something, a piece of land in this case. The three daughters of King Lear are being given three bits of land, yet they aren’t the same size. There is one large, one medium and one small, so to decide which daughter gets the largest and beautiful piece of land, King Lear wants to finally find out who loves him the most. The natural reaction is to lie and say wonderful things that even the King should know is absolute rubbish, so two of them did, while one of the daughters decided to be honest and true. This essay is about my opinion on the matter, and who should get the land.

The first one to speak was Gonriel. She obviously was desperate to own the largest piece of land, and was prepared to lie continuously until she got it. What she said came across as very manipulative, which says a thing or two about her personality. She said things that obviously weren’t true like “I profess myself an enemy to all other joys”. No one would ever say that to anyone, as it is just petty. I think that once she got the land, she wouldn’t speak to the slowly dying King again. Another thing that helps my point is how she used a triplet to exaggerate her point. Even in those days, you could just say I love you on the spot, so it makes it look like she was planning to say that and you could easily identify a false comment by seeing a triplet of exaggerated words.

The next is Regan, who is at least a tiny bit more honest that Gonreil. Yet unlike her rival, she decides to not say much about herself, and instead put her rivals down such as ”Only she comes too short”. That makes her sound like a disastrously horrible person, yet King Lear doesn’t see it.She didn’t say much compared to Gonreil, yet what she said, in my opinion, was even more dishonest than Gonreil, yet what she said was in moderation, causing it to sound slightly more normal. What puzzled me was how on earth she thought that she could do better than both of the other sisters love wise, even though she brags just as badly as Gonreil, and used exhausting metaphors that even a deaf man could recognise it as false.

Cordelia was the last sister to speak, and the expression last but not least describes what she said. ”Nothing my lord”. Compared to what her sisters said, it was an honesty overload. Four words told King Lear how much she loved her, yet it came across a bit weird to her father and sisters. This tells me that she thinks that the land isn’t needed to make herself happy, and she wouldn’t risk getting caught lying for, in her views, a small prize. It proves she is a loving person, and unlike the other sisters, an incredibly honest person.

This was a very easy decision to make. It was obvious that the others were being dishonest so, if King Lear really understood, I think that Cordelia should get the largest piece of land.

Alex Rider: Stormbreaker (Book Review)

Stormbreaker. The first novel of the Alex Rider series. I have been reading these books for just over a year, yet I haven’t written a review of a single one. I decided to re-read Stormbreaker, as it is one of the best spy books I have read in a long time…

Unlike most books, it starts with a bang. The main character’s uncle dying in the first page is not very common, yet it just seems right in this genre. Alex Rider is an orphan, and lives with his mysterious yet awesome uncle in a home in Chelsea, London. The police said that his uncle, Ian Rider, died in a car crash, yet Alex finds this weird and investigates. This sets a very thrilling aura, especially when he goes into his uncles car in a salvage yard. His bravery is caught on camera, which pushes MI6’s interest in the teenager. From here, he finds out that his uncle wasn’t a banker, and was actually a spy. Ian took him all over the world, which Alex thought was for fun. Really, they were training trips, pushing him to master outdoor activities and languages. He was blackmailed by the head of operations threatening to kick his housekeeper (and now carer) back to America. He is sent to a training camp, where he surprises everyone by doing incredibly well. From here he is sent to investigate Sayle Enterprises…

I am not going to ruin the whole thing for you, so I am going to stop it here. I recommend you buy this book in five minutes.

Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Pointless (Rewritten Version)

My name is Christian Lambert and I find writing an autobiography quite pointless. If you wanted to find out more about me, you could’ve tweeted me, tagged me in an Instagram photo, even stalked me and asked in person! Yet this has been asked for by most of my fan base (and the media) have asked for this, so here it goes.

I was born in London, England, in a place called Lambeth. My parents thought I was unique, a bit too unique in fact. This quite slim body was originally fat; very fat indeed. Imagine the fattest person in the world decreased in height, age and mental ability. That was me. The chub was burned off quickly over the months, so my parents could finally see the handsome and charming person I was going to be. Despite me becoming thin, I would eat anything; literally anything. From a pork pie to a bit of cotton, it would somehow fly into my mouth, even if I wasn’t hungry. Another thing I made a good relationship with was the TV. I remember watching things like The Wiggles and Fireman uncontrollably everyday from 6am to 6pm. My parents found this quite tedious, as they were the ones that had to get up early and switch on the TV and the DVD player. Another thing that drove my parents nuts was the fact I always had to have the kit. A Lazytown costume was a must, while I got a new duvet every year (I remember the Wiggles one the most). Another thing that I enjoyed was learning the accents of the characters (I know this because Fireman Sam is where I first used my fantastic Liverpool accent). My catchphrase was: “Sort it out Mummy, sort it out!” I used this when a show I didn’t like played on my CBeebies DVD. I may have eaten anything, yet when it came to TV, I was a very fussy baby.

The first word that came out of this never stopping mouth was “DAD!” It was said when I was eight months old and probably because I was hungry. Apparently, I said it so loudly and clearly it made my Dad spring out of bed at once, shouting downstairs to my Mum. Before this, I had my own language, which didn’t help when I was asking my parents for food. At these times I also became much more playful. An example of this was when I ran through the garden in our Portugal villa with my Dad, making my Mum laugh considerably. I went on holiday a lot when I was younger, going to most of the Greek Islands and Europe. That’s where the adventure began…

Pointless (My Autobiography)

My name is Christian Lambert and I find writing a autobiography quite pointless. If you wanted to find out more about me, you could of tweeted me, tagged me in an Instagram photo, even stalked me and asked in person! Yet so many people (and the media) have asked for this, so here it goes.

I was born in London, England, in a part of South London called Lambeth. my parents thought I was unique. I was a fat baby. A very fat baby. Imagine the fattest person in the word decreased in height and mental ability. Yep, that was me. I burned it off quickly though, so my parents could finally find out how handsome and charming I was going to be. Despite me being slim, I would eat anything. Literally anything. From a pork pie to a bit of cotton, it would go straight into my mouth, even if I wasn’t hungry. I made a very healthy relationship with the TV. Very healthy indeed. I remember watching things like The Wiggles and Fireman Sam at six in the morning, calling my parents to turn on the DVD Player. I don’t think think they enjoyed that. Whatever I watched, I bought the kit. From a Lazy Town costume to a Wiggles duvet, I had the lot. I also enjoyed learning the accents and how the characters speak (I know this because Fireman Sam is where I first used my fantastic Liverpool accent). My catchphrase was: “Sort it out Mummy, sort it out!” I used this when a show on my CBeebies  DVD I didn’t like came on. I may have eaten anything food wise, yet I was a fussy baby when it came to television…

I said my first word when I was 8 months old. It was “DAD!” which I probably said because I hungry. It was said so loudly and clearly in my dad spring out of bed at once. I also spoke my own language, which wasn’t very helpful when asking my parents for things. I also started to become even more playful. I have a memory of running through Portugal with my dad, making my mum laugh considerably. I went on holiday a lot when I was younger, mainly the Greek islands and other places in Europe. At these times, my sister was also a massive inspiration. She was near the end of her time at Secondary school, so I took particular delight in running in and out of our room reacting certain scenes from Wallee (my favourite film at the time). I also made my first few friends…

I struggled making friends when I was younger. They had to be perfect. Literally perfect. Same aspiration, same sport team, same view on drugs, same favourite TV show, same area, same favourite train line, same favourite everything. Anything else was not good enough.


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